Say What?
by OMGimprocrastinating
Summary: What you do not expect the SD chara ... mostly fandom ... to say - CRACK!


A/N: Have you ever wondered what sort of words you think our lovable SD characters would never say in the yaoi fandom? Here, I list (with contributions from my SDFC Babble Forum pals) the unlikeable quotes that would come out from them - not counting any supernatural influence, drugs or too many knocks on the head :p

* * *

**What You Do Not Expect the SD Characters To Say **

**or in short **

**"Say What?"**

**By: Noor**

Hanamichi: Wow! Rukawa! You are the best!

anamichi: Haruko? Eww! Girl-cooties!

Hanamichi: Bash me again, great captain, and show me the folly of my ways!

Hanamichi to Anzai-sensei: Are you sure I can do this, sensei? I mean, I think the guys can do fine without me...

Hanamichi: *sits demurely and sips tea* I say, ol' chap, can you pass me the sugar?

Sendoh: Don't you know I announced myself to celibacy until I get married?

Sendoh: Hmm.. I think I'm going to change my hairstyle this year. Maybe a Don King hairdo or some orange dye...

Rukawa: I am not an introvert. I just lack the words to express myself fully. And I want you to know that I don't only like basketball but also walks along the beach at sunset, candlelight dinner, soap operas... blah, blah, blah... How do I feel about Hanamichi? He is just a fool but if you delve inside his mind you can see that all he needs is guidance to self-acknowledgement... I'm not saying that he's not already such a brag but what I mean about self-acknowledgement is the spiritual kind... blah, blah, blah...

Rukawa: Oh my GOD! I can't sleep! What'll I do?

Haruko: Eh? Rukawa? That cold sod? *laughs hysterically*

Haruko to Akagi: Oh c'mon, bro, loosen up.

Akagi: Group hug! Group hug!

Akagi: I'm afraid I have to skip today's practice because I have a flower-arrangement class this afternoon.

Koshino: Get ready, Sendoh! Here I come, lover!

Aota: Actually, that chase on Haruko is just a trick to trap the gorgeous Hanamichi...

Ayako: From now on I'm not going to hit on you guys again *crumples paper fan*. I'm just going to let you guys fight because people say that fighting is a way to express on how you feel, an outlet of anger and stress. I, too, am going to join in. BANZAIII!

Anzai-sensei: You stupid kids!

Kogure to Mitsui: You're just a wash-up three-point shooter, Mitsui. Wake up and smell the flowers.

Mitsui: I just can't do this! I'm too weak! I want my mommy! Waahh!

Mitsui to Anzai-sensei: Die, old man! Die!

Kiyota: Hanamichi! Oh pal, oh buddy! Let me treat you to a bowl of ramen or something!

Maki: I feel sooo insecure...

* * *

**By: Pastles**

Akagi: Basketball is such a stupid game, I think I shall go and take up ballet... (hee hee inspiration from Pojz's fic...)

Sendoh: Hiro-kun, I think you would suit someone better, someone like Rukawa...

Rukawa: Yeah, I need more basketball like Hanamichi needs more ego...

Hanamichi: You know, I think I might not be that smart after all, what do you think Rukawa?  
Rukawa: No, that's not really true, you have one of the brightest mind that I've ever seen

Fujima: Hanagata! I don't know what to do? ARGH! HELP!

Maki: Do you think that I need a tan?

Kiyota: I like monkeys... really! I really do!

Koshino: glomps AKIRA!

* * *

**By: Sunfire**

Ryota: Ayako, you should go lose some weight.

Kogure: (to the team) You want some water? Go get them yourselves .. hn!

Anzai points gun at Ryonan's coach: *frown* Omae o korosu...

Haruko: *holds up sword* By the honour of the universe ... I am SHE-RA!

Rukawa in Pokemon mode: Pi-kaaaa-chu!

Akagi: Oh you mean the match was yesterday? *rubs head and turns to Shohoku team* All right .. pack up .. lets go home and party!

Mitsui in his gangster long hair: Guys... I have decided to perm my hair ... *points to a DDR poster*

* * *

**By: Tsuki**

Hanamichi: You know, maybe I shouldn't have kicked the crap outta Mitsui.

Rukawa: Baskeyball? Are you crazy? I don't have enough hannd-to-eye coordination to dribble and not fall onto my face! Hahahahahahahhahahaha! Basketball indeed.

Rukawa Brigade: Rukawa? Who's that? Oh him? He's worthless! And not all that cute either!

Sendoh: No, that's quite all right. I've sworn off girls for the rest of my life. And guys too, Hiro-kun. I've decided I'm going to join a monastary.

Akagi: Can't we all just get along?

Koshino: Hanamichi, you really shouldn't lose your temper so easily. *tsk tsk*

Koshino: Take me, Haruko, I'm yours.

Mitsui: Megane-kun? Are you nuts? He looks like a beaver with a vision impairment.

Miyagi: Ayako? That uncute tomboy with the endless array of fans? Hell no! I like my head bump free!

Anzai-sensei: I really think you kids should think of new hobbies...

Hanamichi: Hey, leave that kid alone! What am I going to do about it? gulp I'll just quietly walk away...ARGH! HELP!

* * *

**By: Virgo**

Akagi: *singing* I feel like a natural woman!

Rukawa Brigade: SA-KU-RA-GI! SA-KU-RA-GI! L-O-V-E, SA-KU-RA-GI!

Rukawa: Go Sendoh! You da bomb!

Rukawa: Panties! Panties!  
Happosai: Ah, my best student, yet!

Rukawa: Sakuragi or Sendoh... I can't decide! I must have them both!

Sendoh: Eek! Pervert!

Ayako: *waving fan* Lekka Shien!

Mitsui: I can't fight you! I might break a nail!

Miyagi: You're so mean!  
Mitsui: I didn't mean it, honest!  
Miyagi: Yes you did! You think I'm short and fat! *full wail*

Uozumi: Who's that hot buff of stuff over there?  
Aida: I have no idea.

Kogure: C'mon, everybody! Let's all go to a biker bar, get plastered and pick up some strippers!

Kiyota: *in a cultured voice* Welcome to Masterpiece Theater.

Haruko: That's it! I'm dropping out of school and becoming a dyke!

Akagi: Peace, calm... you must have good karma. Breath in the good air, breath out the stress...  
Anzai: *full hippie gear* Far out, man...

Murasame: *singing* I love you! You love me!

Past Dumpers: Sakuragi I love you!  
Sakuragi: *running in opposite direction* Stay away!

Akagi: Alright! One more time!  
Entire cast: *singing and dancing* YMCA!

* * *

**By: Toko**

Sendoh: Oh my God, I'm naked!

Anzai sensei to Hana: I will teach you. I will be your Yoda. Backwards I will talk until smack me you will want to.

Rukawa: Wazzup Girlfriend? Oh. My. God. You'll never guess who I bumped into on the train today. HIM! You know... HIM. squeel Could you just DIE? So I went up to him and I'm all, "hi," then he was like, "hey," then I'm all... blah blah blah...

Uozumi: I feel pretty.

Akagi: Does this dress make me look fat?

Sakuragi: *groan* All that ramen I just ate is going to go straight to my thighs...

Kogure: I think my butt's begining to sag...

Rukawa: Oh my god I'm naked!

Rukawa Mitsui and Akagi: More rich chocolate Ovaltine please! *cheesy smile*

Haruko: I'll kill you. I will kill you until you die.

Maki: It's good to be the king.

Akagi: I wish I were as smart as Tensai Sakuragi Hanamichi-sama...

Rukawa to his shineitai: I feel neglected... *sniffle*

Rukawa: You cannot say to a rainbow, "Hey rainbow, stop being a rainbow!" Such is Mango.

Kiyota: *big sparkly eyes* Rukawa-sama? He's my hero! I want to be just like him when I grow up.

Akagi: Oh be nice!

Maki: Oh my god, I'm naked! (-One track mind)

Fujima: Nice ass!

Sakuragi: So, What is your speculation on comparative embryology? I myself tend to disagree with the theory that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny...

Rukawa: *singing to Hana* I want to f*** you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside...

* * *

**By: Enilyn**

Rukawa: Oh, how beautiful I am!

Hanamichi: No, please, don't hit me...I beg you, you're scaring me...no...please...*buaaaaaa*

Anzai: Let's party! *throws confetti*

Ayako to Ryota: You poor thing...  
Ryota to Ayako: Get your hands off me, you $%&/!

Akagi: Ohhh...cherry blossom it's sooooo great...let's skip practice for today and pick up some flower for Jun-chan...

Kogure: Don't dare messy with me! *raises a clenched fist*

Koshino: *passionately* Yes, Sendoh, take me!

Sendoh: *blushing* No, no, please Hiro-kun, I'm not ready for this!

Hanamichi: Let me follow you, Rukawa-sama, my spiritual guide!  
Rukawa: No, that's not right, Sakuragi-sama, let's confront each other as equals!

Haruko: Let's give the guys some encouragement...ehi, guuuuuuuys! *'You sexy thing' theme starts* Let's strip!

Hanamichi: Oh, no, Haruko! You're more fat than what I believed!

Rukawa: *perverted laugh* Finally I can see her butt!

Hikoichi: F%&k you, Sendoh!

* * *

**by Minako**

Yuki: WAAAAIII! HANAMICHI-KUN NO KAWAIII! *swoon*

Haruko: HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING DURING OUR PE CLASS? HEEENTAAAAIII!  
(remember the chapter where Aota pops out? I'm sure you will! ^^).

Nobunaga: Awww! You're so sweet! * sniffle *

Kogure (during a fight): Faster, Mitsui! Kill! Kill!

Norio: Waaahh! I'm so scared!

Yohko (only for the anime): Hey you gals! Oda's my boyfriend so SHUT UP!

Yohei : Hanamichi ? Our relationship is just a fool... All I wanted since I met him is to f%$&/ his $$...

Takamya : I'm on a diet now. That's very serious, man. No bananas for three months.

Sakuragi Gundam : Money is not important. We all believe in friendship.

Kogure : I don't like animals. That sucks. If my tee-shirts have drawings of them, it's just 'cause I don't want to break my *so gently* reputation.

Mitsui : You know, man, I'm a Teletubbies addict. Kogure : Really ? I prefer SouthPark.

Tetsuo : It's done ! I have my official member card of Tom Hanks fan club ! [you can change Tom Hanks with any name of any romantic and kindly star]

Miyagi to Aota : Don't cry! I know what it is to be too short. I'm short, and I'm proud of it ! Face the reality, Aota, and we'll show them that we can be as good as they are... even if we're short. Aota : Speak for yourself, my legs are short, but I'm not. Miyagy : Don't lie. Be proud !

Ayako : I want you Ryo-chan.  
Miyagi : Hey, see my earring ? In some countries it means I'm gay ! So take off your hands from me !  
Ayako : Oh, sorry... Hmm... So you don't mind if I jump on Mitsui-senpai ?  
Miyagi : Don't even think 'bout it. He's my future boyfriend.

Hanamichi : Yohei ? Our relationship is just a fool. I use him to get money.

Rukawa : Sakuragi... I... You know I'm... erm... [in a very quiet voice] virgin. So, I... I'm not very sure... Can't we just stay all dressed... in the dark...

Akagi : If I'm so protective with Haruko-chan, it's 'cause she's not my sister. She was adopted... And I love her. But how a so sweet girl could love a gorilla like me ? T.T  
Hanamichi : Don't worry, Take-chan, I'll always be there for you...

* * *

**by Star**

Rukawa: *singing gleefully* I... want to f*~/ a dog in the $$!

Myagi: *sniffle* I want to slamdunk like the others!  
Mitsui: You can stand on my shoulders if you want ^^

Anzai: What the hell do you call that! Playing? A bunch of baboons could do better!

Koshino: *singing* I want to change the world! (Inu-Yasha theme)

Yohei: Brothers, sisters, we are gathered here today to celebrate this most joyous occasion. The joining, in holy matrimony of Akagi Haruko and Uozumi Jun...

Rukawa: My friends are very important to me...

Sendoh (to therapist): I've been feeling so depressed recently, I just want to cry!

Mitsui with long gangster hair: If I platted it into bunches, do ya think it'd make me less imposing?

Sendoh: S&M? What's that? Smile and make up?

Rukawa: ...as are my fans.

Hanamichi (with help from Hana-Ling): Fight? Hate? Goodness me no! Go in peace, my furry tailed fox.

Yohei: (after fight with Mitsui) Y'know, it's not the winning, but the taking part that counts.

Rukawa: I've found my true vocation in life... I want to be a milkman.

Myagi: What do you think of my new platform boots?

Kogure: I think I'll go gothic this season...

Kyota: I'm going to run away with the circus.

Jin: I love spandex!

Rukawa: I have a confession, I'm addicted to caffeine...

Maki: *singing* you're so yo-ung at heart!

Sendoh: Hiro-kun... have you been doing the housework in the nude again? The neighbours have complained...

Maki: Hanamichi Sakuragi-sama is having a party! What am I going to wear!  
Jin: Alright! Let's go trash the place!

Hanamichi: *at the party* oh no! Someone's put my favourite spice girls cd in the microwave!

Akagi: *singing* don't blame it on the sunshine!

Rukawa: Haruko... will you slow dance with me?

Haruko: Hell no... b****r off!

Aida: I feel so out of place... I don't know anyone here!

Rukawa & Fujima in cheer leading outfits singing to entire cast: You hate us cos we're beautiful, but we don't like you either! (from 'gotta have it')

Koshino: Sendoh... I don't think our relationship is working out...  
Sendoh: What's your point?  
Koshino: I think we should have a more 'new age' approach to our love making...  
Sendoh: *blushes* how d'ya mean?  
Koshino: *hollers* Sakuragi! Rukawa! You can come in now!  
Sendoh: *pukes* ugh! That's sick!

Jin: Oh god... faster! Faster!  
Maki: I... *pant* ... can't... *pant*... I think my *pant* hip replacement is *pant* working lose!

Ru: Basketball game? What basketball game? Do you think I have time to play basketball? I'm a very busy young man, you know! I don't have time for basketball! ...zzz...

Mitsui: *To those three guys that always cheer for him* You guys aren't loud enough! Yell! Yell yell yell!  
Ru: to Rukawa Shinetai: Are you gonna let them beat you? YELL!  
Kogure: How come I never get a fanclub... humph...

* * *

**By: ****Nywexia**

Hanamichi: *grovels before Ru* Oh, Rukawa-sama, please teach your humble servant the fine arts of basketball... *kisses Ru's feet*

Anzai: Let's do the macarena! C'mon, everybody!

Uozumi: Does this make my butt look fat?

Akagi: I'm sorry, Uozumi... the one I really love is... Nobunaga Kiyota

Sendoh: *talking to a fish* Hey, help me out here! I can't go emptyhanded!

Okay, okay, that last one was pointless

Uozumi: Ahhh! Everyone else is so tall! I feel so tiny!

Anzai: Hey, do you think I need to eat more?  
Hana: Yah, you're looking a bit scrawny there, pops!

Rukawa: I talk too much  
Hana: Me too!

Akagi: oops... i guess I'm too heavy to sit on basketballs anymore... holds up squashed basketball

hana: Haruko? Huh? Who's Haruko?

Ru: to hana: Anata wa... tensai!

* * *

_First posted in 2000_


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